I honestly don't know if I should blog today... I'm feeling sentimental, philosophical and all together quite preachy. Nevertheless, I'm feeling inspired...
A friend of mine, who's coincidentally named Christian, shared the following link to a blog post by "Single Dad Laughing" titled "I'm Christian, unless you're gay" (oddly enough, Christian knows I'm gay and yet he's always referred to himself as such... oh that's rich!). I couldn't sleep this morning, so I thought I'd give it a quick read. Well, there was nothing quick about it, but I'm nevertheless pleased to have read it. If you, too, are having trouble sleeping or perhaps just don't want to study, I encourage you to click the link below and read this (at the very least) thought-provoking blog post.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html
If you chose not to spend 15 minutes reading a message that could've been summed up in 5, I'll give you an even more brief synopsis. In this blog entry, Dan Pearce discusses the exclusivity of Christianity and the failure by some of its more rigid, conservative followers to essentially "love thy neighbor" ... particularly if this neighbor is gay, an alcoholic or "different" in some other way. While I'm not crazy about "gayness" being likened to diseases such as alcoholism (my sister was once told being gay is the equivalent to being an alcoholic... that one must resist the tempation for same sex relations, like an alcoholic must avoid the drink), I appreciate the message Pearce is trying to relay -- in order to feel better about themselves, humans who feel inadequate hate and dehumanize those who are different or "sinful." He essentially asks, "Why can't we all just love and get along?"
I, however, find myself asking, "When will we stop referring to my lifestyle as 'alternative' and debating whether it's 'right' or 'wrong'?" I'm confident that day will come, and perhaps even in my lifetime. Until then, I continue my daily struggle to not just tolerate, but accept the unaccepting. Lady Gaga is far better about this (perhaps what I admire most in her), as I can't even sit through an Eminem song without purging. But, I don't think I should have to subject myself to that sort of verbal abuse in order to "accept" Mr. Mathers.
Conan O'Brien joked last night that America can't afford transitions... With that being said, I'm now going to very choppily jump to an overview of my Thanksgiving festivities. I spent the holiday at home in Whitehall with my mom's family. We were missing both sister Kassie and cousin Erik, as well as everyone's favorite uncle Kenny... nevertheless, those of us who were present had an amazing time. I often refer to the "Tjoflats" as a big group of large, beautiful people. I'm happy to report, however, that these large people seem to be making their health a major priority. Sure, we all ate ourselves into a state of turkey-drunkenness, but many of my relatives have recently shed some excess weight. I'll use my cousins Hannah and Evalyn as examples. They signed onto The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge and lost 15 and 16lbs respectiviely! So proud of these long and increasingly lean, beautiful women!
I'm also happy to report GAGA was quite the fixture in this year's festivities. After finally sobering up a bit from our turkey-drunkeness, everyone (except "the men") sat down and watched A Very GAGA Thanksgiving. It was awesomely cheesey and hilarious, but there were also some very touching moments and song selections. If you didn't catch it, I would at least advise you to youtube her performances of Hair, Bad Romance or The (pl)Edge of Glory. I'm just so happy to live in a world where Lady Gaga has her own Thanksgiving special, and it's one my family wants to watch with me! But the highlight of my Thanksgiving likely came on black friday. That morning, rather than migrate to the nearest mall, I cranked the GAGA and held an outdoor, family GAGAerobics session! To watch my sister Liz, aunt Mary and cousins Hannah and Evie follow my lead and GAGAcise in sync was somewhat of a dream come true! It was honestly so much fun!!! I'd love to show you the video my mother took, but we're having trouble uploading it... that, and Ellen may or may not have filmed it upside-down!
uote from a man (I'm now doing everything in my power to resist including a sexist remark about the inferiority of the male psyche). As for my quote, I've been thinking a lot lately about how surprisingly often I discuss the issue of weight with even the most exceptional of women... sadly enough, strong women seem just as plagued by body image issues as the next. As are the thinnest and most fit... it seems, unfortunately, women are taught never to be satisfied with their figures. I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss our weight with one another... I'm merely saying we shouldn't obsess over such issues and have unrealistic expectations for our bodies. On the other hand, we shouldn't make excuses for one another. Ultimately, we must encourage one another to live healthier lifestyles without preaching or conversely beating the dead, "I wish I were skinnier" horse. I warned you earlier about my "preachy" mentality today...
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Fat-Jackie may have won the battle, but skinny-me will win the war!
It's been pert' near three weeks since I last posted... unfortunately, my failure to blog is representative of my lack luster dieting efforts. It's far easier to eat that slice of pizza when you're not preaching to everyone about how you're trying to lose weight! GAGA almighty, I guess I'm that chick that needs everyone watching me, checking up on me in order to accomplish a 40lb feat of this sort. It's funny, though, that I sometimes find myself put off by the fact that people try to keep me in check... I'm annoyed when I hear things like, "Aren't you on a diet?", "GAGAcise lately?" or "Is that fourth drink really necessary?". In reality, I have all but begged for this sort of attention. By proclaiming my intentions and shouting my progress (or lack there of) out loud, I am absolutely setting myself up for critique, advice and even badgering. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful... I'm actually incredibly thankful for those of you keeping me accountable. Would I be as succesful without feeling the need to prove myself to so many?! Absolutely not. As much as this health revolution is a personal voyage, keeping this blog is the ulitmate act of accountability. When you read, I feel pressure to stay on track. For this, I thank you. And while I may seem irked by your "surveillance" or advice, I thank you for that too. Lecture me, question me, scold me all you want... after all, I'm asking for it! But I should warn you, doing so at certain times of the month could be hazardous to your health...
I've officially been "asking for it" for about three and a half months now. In fact, the Pledge of Glory celebrated it's three month anniversary on November 8th. In these three months, I've varied from incredibly well behaved to equally as ill behaved. Maybe it's the late-night, unnecessary Qdoba "fourth meal" talking, but sometimes I feel there have been as many days ruled by fat-Jackie as there have been those dictated by healthy-me. But, now 21.4lbs lighter (down from 221.6 to 200.2), I think healthy-me is in fact winning the war. I met a man recently who put on about 100lbs after he quit playing football for UW. He has since gone from that hefty 350lbs to a healthy, juiced 250 (we'll call this former Badger "Joe")... he told me that he and his former fat-self struggle daily. While healthy Joe insists upon eating a veggie fajita, the fat Joe of yesteryear is inside longing for a double cheeseburger. I've been unhealthy virutally my entire life... at least as long as I've been old enough to make my own diet decisions. Like Joe, I cannot expect to completely transform into healthy-Jackie without occassionally hearing from (and giving into) fat-Jackie. She lives within... and always will.
Anyway, I thought after three months I ought to post some updated semi-nude photos. Like I said before, I'm down roughly 21.4lbs. With that being said, I'd like to think the new photos are a little easier on the eyes. See for yourself...
At 221.6lbs. Buzz's girlfriend... woof.
The Pledge of (221.6lb) Glory.
Looking slightly more glorious
(and hopefully a little less flabulous) at 200.2 lbs.
Is it me or is my back-fat frowning?!
20lbs later, my back-fat is looking less "unhappy" --
my proudest Pledge accomplisment yet!
Sure enough, this Thursday is Thanksgiving!!! I'm planning to do a mini-fast of sorts these next three days so I can enjoy this glutonous holiday in (semi) good conscience. It's not like I can really eat that much anyway. Seriously, if I eat too much these days I feel drunk... honest to GAGA. At work the other day I ate two helpings of grilled squash burried in a delcious red sauce. I was all buzzed upon returning from break, and I told my friend Tony I got "squash wasted." To which he said, "Dude, you got squashed!" I got "squashed" again at work yesterday, as we had a pre-Thanksgiving feast of sorts. This involved me eating far too much turkey, stuffing and frozen veggie medley. When I returned from break, my co-workers wanted to know why I was all red in the face. Once again, I was food wasted. Such an odd sensation!
Well, I suppose I should address The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge. For me, getting under 200lbs means meeting this challenge. Last time I checked, I was 200.2... and this was after a night of drinking and a few days of bad eating. So, I would like to think that I'll indeed be under 200lbs come Thursday. Now, after Thursday is another story! Despite the Pledge of Glory, I will be enjoying Thanksgiving the only way I know how...
As for the other Hauser sisters... well, I just spoke with Liz yesterday and it seems she's shed about 7lbs in the last month or so! I know how hard losing 7lbs can be, so I'm incredibly proud of her progress!!! This feat is especially impressive as she devotes much time and energy to her under-paid and under-appreciated profession of teaching (recall Walker!). I haven't had a chance to ask Kassie about her Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge efforts, but I'm sure she's made great progress as well. And even if she hasn't, I'm extremely proud of her most recent accomplishment. On her 26th birthday, Kassie presented her thesis topic to a panel of advisors who were to decide whether she should proceed with this particular topic. After giving a 10 minute presentation, the panel interrogated her for almost 90 minutes. They then deliberated for just 10 minutes before officially approving her topic. While her specific subject is failing me, I do know it involves Alaska and climate change. Nevertheless, Kassie said the whole ordeal was one of the most difficult things she's had to do. I was lucky enough to talk to her almost immediately after, and it was pretty clear this was also one of the most satisfying moments of her life.
Here's hoping y'all are anticipating Thanksgiving festivities even half as fantastic as mine! And here's to my mother and fabulous aunts who each year prepare an insane feast for 20+ food-loving Tjoflat giants! Erik and Kassie, you will be sorely missed at this year's gathering... but at least we won't have to serve Tofurkey again! Nor lie to you about the green bean casserole being made with cream of mushroom soup (pretty sure we've always made it with cream of chicken anyway).
"The cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience." -- Naomi Wolf
Upon reading this quote, I question whether my health revolution truly is a journey of personal improvement or merely an effort to conform to the absurb physical expecations of our media-infected society. But who am I kidding?! Even if I get down to my desired weight of 180lbs, I'll still be far from ideal by our culture's standards. Being 6 feet tall and "big-boned," I guess I'm forever disobedient. But in passing this quote along to me, my wise friend Paul noted, "A little disobedience is a good thing, don't you think?"
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
I've officially been "asking for it" for about three and a half months now. In fact, the Pledge of Glory celebrated it's three month anniversary on November 8th. In these three months, I've varied from incredibly well behaved to equally as ill behaved. Maybe it's the late-night, unnecessary Qdoba "fourth meal" talking, but sometimes I feel there have been as many days ruled by fat-Jackie as there have been those dictated by healthy-me. But, now 21.4lbs lighter (down from 221.6 to 200.2), I think healthy-me is in fact winning the war. I met a man recently who put on about 100lbs after he quit playing football for UW. He has since gone from that hefty 350lbs to a healthy, juiced 250 (we'll call this former Badger "Joe")... he told me that he and his former fat-self struggle daily. While healthy Joe insists upon eating a veggie fajita, the fat Joe of yesteryear is inside longing for a double cheeseburger. I've been unhealthy virutally my entire life... at least as long as I've been old enough to make my own diet decisions. Like Joe, I cannot expect to completely transform into healthy-Jackie without occassionally hearing from (and giving into) fat-Jackie. She lives within... and always will.
Anyway, I thought after three months I ought to post some updated semi-nude photos. Like I said before, I'm down roughly 21.4lbs. With that being said, I'd like to think the new photos are a little easier on the eyes. See for yourself...
My Christmas gift to y'all! Haha. Looking thinner
through the shoulders and chest, perhaps?
Legs as comically skinny as ever!
(and hopefully a little less flabulous) at 200.2 lbs.
my proudest Pledge accomplisment yet!
Sure enough, this Thursday is Thanksgiving!!! I'm planning to do a mini-fast of sorts these next three days so I can enjoy this glutonous holiday in (semi) good conscience. It's not like I can really eat that much anyway. Seriously, if I eat too much these days I feel drunk... honest to GAGA. At work the other day I ate two helpings of grilled squash burried in a delcious red sauce. I was all buzzed upon returning from break, and I told my friend Tony I got "squash wasted." To which he said, "Dude, you got squashed!" I got "squashed" again at work yesterday, as we had a pre-Thanksgiving feast of sorts. This involved me eating far too much turkey, stuffing and frozen veggie medley. When I returned from break, my co-workers wanted to know why I was all red in the face. Once again, I was food wasted. Such an odd sensation!
Well, I suppose I should address The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge. For me, getting under 200lbs means meeting this challenge. Last time I checked, I was 200.2... and this was after a night of drinking and a few days of bad eating. So, I would like to think that I'll indeed be under 200lbs come Thursday. Now, after Thursday is another story! Despite the Pledge of Glory, I will be enjoying Thanksgiving the only way I know how...
As for the other Hauser sisters... well, I just spoke with Liz yesterday and it seems she's shed about 7lbs in the last month or so! I know how hard losing 7lbs can be, so I'm incredibly proud of her progress!!! This feat is especially impressive as she devotes much time and energy to her under-paid and under-appreciated profession of teaching (recall Walker!). I haven't had a chance to ask Kassie about her Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge efforts, but I'm sure she's made great progress as well. And even if she hasn't, I'm extremely proud of her most recent accomplishment. On her 26th birthday, Kassie presented her thesis topic to a panel of advisors who were to decide whether she should proceed with this particular topic. After giving a 10 minute presentation, the panel interrogated her for almost 90 minutes. They then deliberated for just 10 minutes before officially approving her topic. While her specific subject is failing me, I do know it involves Alaska and climate change. Nevertheless, Kassie said the whole ordeal was one of the most difficult things she's had to do. I was lucky enough to talk to her almost immediately after, and it was pretty clear this was also one of the most satisfying moments of her life.
Here's hoping y'all are anticipating Thanksgiving festivities even half as fantastic as mine! And here's to my mother and fabulous aunts who each year prepare an insane feast for 20+ food-loving Tjoflat giants! Erik and Kassie, you will be sorely missed at this year's gathering... but at least we won't have to serve Tofurkey again! Nor lie to you about the green bean casserole being made with cream of mushroom soup (pretty sure we've always made it with cream of chicken anyway).
"The cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience." -- Naomi Wolf
Upon reading this quote, I question whether my health revolution truly is a journey of personal improvement or merely an effort to conform to the absurb physical expecations of our media-infected society. But who am I kidding?! Even if I get down to my desired weight of 180lbs, I'll still be far from ideal by our culture's standards. Being 6 feet tall and "big-boned," I guess I'm forever disobedient. But in passing this quote along to me, my wise friend Paul noted, "A little disobedience is a good thing, don't you think?"
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Justice Under Gaga
For those of you who don't know, Lady Gaga is an Italian-American. And like many Italian-Americans, GAGA was raised Catholic. Maybe her donning a red nun's habit and "eating" a rosary speaks for itself, but she no longer considers herself a member of the Catholic community... She's not too keen on the Church's demonization of homosexuals. Anyway, I'm not trying to spur any political debates here. I just thought I'd share a lil' story about another one of my favorite Catholic Italian-Americans. For Pledge of Glory purposes, we'll call her "Becks."
Becks is a good friend I studied abroad with in Italy. Every Monday, we'd practice our Italian over some wine... we liked to think our Italian was great when "under the influence." More often than not, however, she'd end up telling me hilarious stories about her Catholic high school. Much of the hilarity is currently escaping me, but I will never forget how this all-girls school referred to detentions -- JUG's -- standing for "justice under God." Lord Almighty, even Sister Mary Elizabeth can appreciate the comical irony in that acronym!
Anyway, enough about those funny Catholics... What I really want to blog about today is my ferocious GAGAween costume!!! My head is slowly shrinking to it's normal size, but after a weekend full of compliments I'm still riding my GAGA-high. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the leaner physique, or maybe it was my insane makeup and costuming (compliments of Morgan Boland)... whatever it was, I was feeling (and looking, in my opinion) quite "savagely fierce" (as dictionary.com defines 'ferocious'). At work Sunday, I was literally showing a picture of Jackie Gaga to anyone I deemed remotely interested (guest or co-worker). But decide for yourselves, do I make a hot Gaga or what?!
Lookin' like GAGA's 6ft twin... maybe better, if you ask
Becks is a good friend I studied abroad with in Italy. Every Monday, we'd practice our Italian over some wine... we liked to think our Italian was great when "under the influence." More often than not, however, she'd end up telling me hilarious stories about her Catholic high school. Much of the hilarity is currently escaping me, but I will never forget how this all-girls school referred to detentions -- JUG's -- standing for "justice under God." Lord Almighty, even Sister Mary Elizabeth can appreciate the comical irony in that acronym!
Anyway, enough about those funny Catholics... What I really want to blog about today is my ferocious GAGAween costume!!! My head is slowly shrinking to it's normal size, but after a weekend full of compliments I'm still riding my GAGA-high. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the leaner physique, or maybe it was my insane makeup and costuming (compliments of Morgan Boland)... whatever it was, I was feeling (and looking, in my opinion) quite "savagely fierce" (as dictionary.com defines 'ferocious'). At work Sunday, I was literally showing a picture of Jackie Gaga to anyone I deemed remotely interested (guest or co-worker). But decide for yourselves, do I make a hot Gaga or what?!
the Colombian man hitting on me at Club 5 (yet
another gay bay where I pick up men...
surpisingly Enrique was straight).
As fellow GAGAweener AJ Blanchet said,
"Makin' our mamas proud!"
You might not know it looking at this ferocious picture, but
I've had far too much wine at this point... Like GAGA, neither
drunkenness nor brain-eating zombies will spoil my photo.
I'd like to think GAGAerobics has served me well!
After last week's very "woe is me" entry, I'm here to report that all is well in the land of The Pledge of Glory! I'm also here to demand that you never weigh yourself during your period!!! Last week I was all pissy about the fact that I was weighing in at 208.6 (heck, I'd been between 206 and 210lbs the entire month of October). But what do you know... I weighed myself just days later (after my period) and poof! I was magically about 6 lbs lighter! And I'm proud to announce that at some point this week, for the first time since likely 8th grade, the scale read less than 200lbs!!! Even after a long weekend of GAGAween celebrating and neglecting just about every Pledge of Glory "rule," I'm still roughly 202.6lbs. If y'all remember my initial weigh in, I began this journey at 221.6lbs... that brings me to a grand total of 19lbs shed!!! I'm virtually over the moon with excitment! And it seems I will get my professional haircut after all... I promised myself that as a reward for getting under 200lbs and meeting the The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge!!!
Here's hoping you felt as good in your Halloween costumes as I did! I can't wait for the slightest excuse to get back into my GAGA-gear!
“I want women -- and men -- to feel empowered by a deeper and more psychotic part of themselves. The part they're always trying desperately to hide. I want that to become something they cherish.”
-- Lady Gaga
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
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