Please, Don't Make Fun of My "Manties."

If you've read my profile or have ever met me, for that matter, you know how I feel about karaoke.  Well, last night was Wednesday night, and that only means one thing...karaoke at the local gay bar, Plan B!  At work I keep hearing Billy Joel's "Oh What a Night," and I've been dying to sing it!  So, I requested the song and waited anxiously for my turn.  However, the song I requested was some 50's doo-wop crap by a group called the Dells!  Needless to say, I had no idea what I was singing...it was a karaokatastrophe!!!  I was mortified.  Will I ever be able to show my face at Plan B again?!  Yes, actually, I've got plans to return Saturday ;)  But the important thing about last night is that I only had one beer... yes, one beer.  Last week I would've told you I didn't think it could be done! 

So apparently people who want to lose weight eat oatmeal...and I can see why! Upon finishing mine this morning, it's fiber content had already kicked in and I felt like I never wanted to eat again.  That and it took me at least 30 minutes to eat...uff da! And this wasn't that sweetened instant stuff... this was the real, mushy deal.  Eating it without fruit is like listening to Eminem without wearing ear-plugs...it's so disgusting you're practically hurling (Em fans, can we just agree to disagree? Thanks).  Moving on.  

Disclaimer:  the following photos are not for the faint of heart.  The Surgeon General says if you're pregnant or have a heart condition, you should not view the following pictures.  They have been found both disturbing and permanently damaging.  For you brave (or stupid) individuals, I give you Jackie Hauser at 221.6 lbs:

As I've noted in the title, I ask that you don't make fun of my "manties"... or look too closely at them, for that matter...it seems they've worn a little thin in the rear :S  So yeah, it's safe to say that's more than you've ever wanted to see of me!  And just so you know, I'm doing my "pledge pose" in picture 1.  Geez, I can't help but laugh at my comically skinny legs!  How can they be so skinny after lugging all this weight around?!  And thank GAGA my sports-bra is concealing my flabby side-boob region...no one wants to see that!  Unfortunately, the sports-bra's not doing anything for my back fat... who can tell me how to get rid of that crap?!  I'd like a little something I can throw in to GAGAerobics.  

Call it water weight or call it a fluke, but I weighed myself again today and I'm down to 220.2 lbs.  If my calculations are correct, that means I've lost 1.4 lbs already!  If only I'd taken these pictures after dropping this pound and a half...

Here's hoping you're enjoying this GAGAlicious weather!  

"Let me be myself and then I am satisfied.  I know that I'm a woman, a woman with inward strength and plenty of courage." - Anne Frank


LOVE. PEACE. GAGAerobics.

Jackie