Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Time to put a (Re)boot in my ass!

If this blog could talk, it would say (in its best Mrs. Doubtfire impression), "HelllllOOOOO!!!" Good gravy boat, it's as if The Pledge of Glory no longer exists!  In both blog form and my physical form, unfortunately.  Let me begin by saying, I have gained some weight.  It's only fair that I would... three months of eating and drinking like the fatter-Jackie of yesteryear will do that to a person.  I have also been exercising far less than I once was. I shan't make excuses, and I'm honestly pretty disappointed in myself.  Once consistently weighing in between 190 and 195 lbs, I am now tipping the scale around 195 to 200lbs.  Woof.

This disappointment is something I address daily.  I have many conversations with myself about the fact that weight-loss and health are long-term issues, and set-backs are bound to happen.  What disappoints me most is not the fact that I won't lose the 40 lbs (I stupidly set this goal prior to weighing myself.  'Tis quite sad, but I actually thought I weighed MORE than 221.6 lbs before taking The Pledge.  My body has since indicated, loud and clear, that 181.6 lbs might be a bit of a strectch for me).  I'm disappointed that I made an eight month commitment to my health, and seemingly threw in the towel after about four.  I had made sound, healthy choices and changes from August to January.  The sort of healthy choices I was hoping to adopt for life.  I was not dieting;  merely altering my lifestyle. I must admit, it's a bit disheartening to know that I haven't been able to maintain these behaviors for even seven months.  SO, now that I've had that pity party of one...

WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!  Well, a very "special" friend of mine has likely found the perfect way to halt my three month Will she ever re-board the wagon?! bender.  This "special" friend, who I like to call Ms. Kelly, suggested her and I do a "Reboot" ala Joe Cross.  So who is this "thinspiration" of a man and what the hell is a Reboot, you ask?!  Well, Joe Cross is someone who revolutionized his health at the age of 40.  Struggling with both high blood pressure and high cholesterol, Joe pledged to consume only the juice of fresh fruits and vegetables for 60 days. He began this pledge, his very first Reboot, in late 2007.  By March of the following year, he was no longer on any of the medications he was taking "night and day" as a man 100 lbs overweight.  As for the Reboot itself... Cross's website, www.jointhereboot.com, describes it like so:

A Reboot is a period of time in which a person commits to eating or drinking only fresh fruits and vegetables. Reboot is not a diet, it is a time for the body to reset, cleanse and take in all those vital nutrients Mother Nature intended for us. The Reboot Program allows you to take control of your diet, improve your health and wellness... The goal is to help you break a cycle of unhealthy eating, or simply enhance the quality of your diet by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.

As I write this blog, day one of our 10 day Reboot is coming to an end.  Fortunately for us, we are still able to chew... the first three days involve drinking AND eating fruits, vegetables and sprouted seeds (don't ask me to explain the latter lol).  I plan to blog every day of our Reboot, so I encourage those of you interested in raunchy farts and epic poops to keep reading!  I've practically eaten my weight in berries and spinach today, so my already "over-active" stomach was having a hay-day!  Praise cheeses I was able to exile myself from my coworkers a bit... I spent the better part of my nine hour shift at the front desk's far computer in a coma brought on by my own bodily gases ;)  Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit... sure, my fruity-veggie gas was toxic, but according to my Reboot diary my gas at least came in the form of "raunchy, yet fortunately rare farts." Speaking of fortunate, I think Kelly and I are pretty lucky to have a third muskateer in on this endeavor... our good friend Holly is tackling the 10 day Reboot with us, too!  Thank Gaga, we haven't already turned into that couple that "diets" and runs half marathons together... I can call us a couple, right?!  Here's hoping!  Anyway, wish us luck as we continue this 10 day quest to Reboot our bodies!!!  Like I said, I'll be blogging daily throughout this process.  As always, your moral support is greatly appreciated! 

Here's to all y'all and the overwhelming support you've already sent my way... especially in the past year!  As you may or may not know, I turned 23 years young on the 18th of  March.  I must admit, 22 was  truly an excellent year for me.  It very well could've been the best year of my life.  Between spending a semester in Italy, coming out of the closet, meeting some truly fantastic people and getting healthy, I have virtually no complaints!  Sure, I may have seemed a little pessimistic about the current state of The Pledge of Glory, but this Reboot has me feeling really good about re-boarding the healthy-wagon!  And I wasn't really being pessimistic, I was merely being honest about my recent lack of commitment.  All in all, it's hard to be disappointed in myself when my work-pants are still comically large... when the scale regularly reads less than 200 lbs (as a year ago I would've told you that was pert' near impossible)... when Mama Hauser is taking a dress I ordered in August in nearly eight inches! Set backs will happen, but we must remember the satisfaction of progress and channel that positive energy! 

Here's hopin y'all have seen the new movie version of Dr. Suess's The Lorax!  If not, allow me to enlighten you... 

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not." 

I'd like to leave you with yet another quote... just because it's been SO DAMN LONG since I last blogged, and I've compiled quite the list of them.  But before I relay this hilarious quote, i must give my childhood bestie (and a loyal Pledge reader) a shout-out.  Randi, this long-time friend of mine, found great strength and courage in the 22nd year of her life, too.  You might say she really grew some tits (not to be confuzed with balls...) and came into her own.  But despite these newfound tits, Randi recognizes that life might still bite ya in the ass.  And what does she have to say about that?!      

"Sometimes our tits... take some hits."

But hell, that doesn't make her wanna be any less of a woman!  You're one helluva gal, Randi!  You will forever be the Whitney Houston (R.I.P.) to my Tina Turner!  I'm so very proud of you!!!

Again, I'll be blogging the next 9 consecutive days, every step of the Reboot way!!! Stay tuned!

Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.

Jackie   

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