Just thought I'd quickly update The Pledge with a very pleasant announcement. Beginning tonight, Tuesday, January 24th, I will be leading group GAGAerobics sessions at Sotto every Tuesday and Thursday!!! Sotto, Madison's newest "gay-friendly" bar and dance club, will open its doors at 6 pm, and the GAGAcising will commence at 6:30! To say this is somewhat of a "dream come true" for me is cheesey, yet not overstated.
In a perfect world I'd be in the financial situation to rent out the space, and we'd all GAGAcise for free. But as most of you know, my job pays the bills and really nothing more. With that being said, GAGAerobics sessions are $3 each or two for $5. I want to make it very clear that I am not being paid to lead these sessions. We'd like to keep them as affordable as possible, and I'm most interested in simply sharing the experience with people who are looking to have good, healthy fun! To be surrounded by people who love GAGA, are invested in my goal or are just looking for a fun workout is payment enough! I need to GAGAcise anyway, so why not do so among friends?
What I find hilarious about this whole thing, is that I'm far from the typical aerobics instructor whose body you're covetting throughout a workout. No one is going to look at my body in envy. While I am not "the face" of fitness, what I'd like GAGAerobics participants to remember is that I am the face of improvement... someone who has made health a priority in her life, at least to a greater extent than it's ever been. Like Madonna's quote from the last edition of The Pledge says, "You can always change, become a better version of yourself." I'd like to think I'm doing that.
And I thought I had to be drunk to compliment myself! Speaking of which, don't comment on my figure if you see me, perhaps a little schnockered up, at a bar... as a couple friends learned last night, you'll likely get a lengthy response in which I shamelessly pat myself on the back for my weight-loss efforts. Sometimes it's hard to be modest when you feel good about yourself... and I was feeling particularly good last night for a few reasons.
Well here's hoping I see you at an upcoming GAGAerobics session!!! Whether it's this week or in March, I'll be at Sotto every Tuesday and Thursday ready for you! It's surely an experience!
"To enjoy each day as it comes is the greatest success of them all." -- a cheesey graduation card
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Haus Rules
Morgan: I think living together again will be good for us. We'll be healthy influences on one another. How would you feel about having some house diet rules?
Me: I don't really do diet "rules."
Morgan: Well, I don't mean rules like, "No Drinking." I mean funny rules like, "No Angry Hummus."
What's "angry hummus" you ask?! Well, angry hummus is somewhat of an event that takes place after several hours of being nice to hotel guests. After work I'll sit down to chat with Morgan over a tub of hummus and some pretzels, and the gorging commences. With every story I tell about an annoying situation (or dare I say a trying guest), I'll chow down on another pretzel dunked in an even more laughable amount of hummus than the last. By the time I'm through venting, I've eaten half a tub (or about 5 servings) of hummus. Thus the instatement of our first of three house rules, No Angry Hummus. Yes, I understand that hummus might actually be somewhat "good" for me, but not in ice cream size portions. The other rules read as follows: No means NO and No Weighing on the Rag.
We've instated the No means NO rule, because we've struggled a bit in the past with the whole "eating in numbers" thing. We've been known to talk each other into eating things we should just so no to. Or sometimes, like the other night, we'll even talk each other into eating things we've found the will power to refuse. After an excellent aerobics session with our fabulous instructor "Pat," who lovingly refers to me as "Jackie with the fabulous hair," Morgan and I decided to take the State Street route home. And this route just so happens to run right past Qdoba, my ultimate weakness. Morgan suggested we go there for a little post-workout meal, and somehow I was able to say no. When we got back to the apartment she suggested it once again, and after I said no she hinted at going there yet again. After saying no a third or fourth time, I finally gave in. We went to Qdoba and while it was delicious, the joy that typically accompanies this experience just wasn't there. I was suddenly quite angry knowing that our awesome workout would be for naught, and I was also rather angry knowing I had said no at least three times.
And this the day after I'd had a conversation with Morgan about needing allies! I understand that The Pledge of Glory is completely my battle, but sometimes I could get by with a little help from my friends. You know, if we're at a bar together and I say I don't want a drink, I don't want a drink. I'm assuming anyone who knows me understands why I'm saying no, so PLEASE don't try to persuade me or tell me I look like I could use a drink! Hell, you hardly have to know me to have heard me preach about The Pledge... if you've met me even once, chances are I've taken it upon myself to tell you all about my little project. Anyway, I'd like to think I'm not one who needs to be schnookered up to have or be fun, so just be my ally and go with it. It can be damn hard for my fat inner booze-hound to say no, so please don't invite me to second guess that no when I actually do.
At the time of the Qdoba incident I was a little perturbed with Morgan, but this was definitely compounded by my bad, period attitude. Which leads me to our next rule, No Weighing on the Rag. This rule was purposed by Ms. Morgan after hearing me bitch innumerable times about the extra weight I carry around when menstruating. The whole Qdoba thing happened not only while on the rag but also shortly after the holiday season. Therefore, the scale was reading really lack-luster numbers in the high 190s/ low 200s range (those are some freakin' November numbers). So I was freaking out a bit about the 20lbs I'd have to lose in only four months... yes, I'd lost 20 in the four months prior, but loosing the weight will be increasingly more difficult from here on out.
Despite having vowed never to step on a scale during my period again, I was doing so and overreacting about pert near everything. Needless to say, as soon as I'd ditched the tampons my weight was drastically lower! Define drastic, you say. Well, on the rag the scale was consistently reading at least 198.9lbs. Almost immediately after saying farewell to "Aunt Flow," which is a ridiculous period euphemism my friend Paula (and no one else) used to say, the scale read 192.9!!! Hells freakin' bells! My weight has been fluctuating in the 192-195 range ever since, but after quite the SNOW DAY, FAT DAY it's sitting on the higher end of that spectrum. SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs, for the record, involve eating as much of whatever you want in celebration of a wintry storm. Even without Brianna, my best SNOW DAY, FAT DAY comrade, I had a pretty successful SNOW DAY, FAT DAY. I won't bore you with another food diary entry, but lets just say I ate out three times yesterday. Naturally, Qdoba was one such restaurant destination... so Ms. Morgan, one of my greatest Pledge allies, don't think I'm still salty over the Qdoba thing... I never really had the right to be salty about it from the get go.
Wow. Having failed to blog since December 23rd, I have SO MUCH TO SAY! I apologize about all the rambling that has taken and will continue to take place. I suppose I should address the holidays, but I don't really have anything insightful to say about them. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and hardly "held back" at all. During the Tjoflat Christmas celebration, I guess I was pretty successful in wedging myself in a corner where I couldn't escape every two seconds to get some of mother Ellen's famous sweetened puff corn or one of sister Liz's ridiculous Paula Dean chocolate chip cookie dough truffles... they were literally giant balls of cookie dough dunked in delicious chocolate. Liz, did I thank you for providing perhaps the most difficult diet temptation yet? Overall, I guess I was pretty successful in not drinking a whole lot over the holidays... except for maybe that one night in downtown Whitehall where things got a little crazy at the "S&M" bar... what happens in S&M, stays in S&M.
Despite the holidays, I've managed to lose roughly 27lbs since this whole quest began in August. For those of you not real gifted in the math department, I've 13lbs to lose in order to meet my 40lb April 28th goal!!! Anyway, people often ask me something along the lines of, "So what's your secret?" I almost always struggle to answer this damn question. First of all, when you were an incredibly gluttonous, lazy college kid, a few healthy changes can work wonders for you. Simply getting my ass of the couch to GAGAcise or rollerblade thrice a week has been huge for me. And drinking at least less frequently than a college kid has done wonders as well.
But if I could sum it all up, I guess knowing myself has been the real secret. Though I can't seem to learn this lesson, I know I cannot sit down with a tub of hummus and eat a reasonable portion of it. It's as simple as portioning a bit out and enjoying it in moderation. Also, some nights I know I cannot go to a bar and just have one drink. The solution is simple. I shan't put myself in that situation on this particular night. Some nights I know I'm incapable of even passing by a Qdoba without coveting some Mexican Gumbo and ultimately stopping in. Once again, a simple solution... take a different route home. So lets know and understand ourselves! Know the temptations you can and cannot resist, know your triggers and discover the root of your unhealthy habits. To me, it's no coincidence whatsoever that I've been capable of revolutionizing my health in the same year I've announced, acknowledged and celebrated my lifestyle. Having come out, I'm no longer seeking comfort in unhealthy habits like excessive eating and drinking (with the exception of a few SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs here and there). Here's to a 2012 dedicated to total health... of mind, body and spirit!
Speaking of the new year, lets talk resolutions! Mine are as follows (and in no order of importance): Complete The Pledge, floss, MEET GAGA and leave Madison no later than September. As for that final resolution, do cities exist where the lesbian circle isn't so freakishly small?! GAGA, I hope so.
A quick story to demonstrate how effectively I often put my foot in my mouth... In the work cafeteria the other day, I gazed longingly at a vat of mystery meat (sometimes that stuff appeals to me... GAGA knows why). I asked my coworker what he thought it was, and he responded, "I don't know. It's probably pork, and I don't eat that stuff." So, thinking he's just another one of my interesting coworkers who refuses to eat pork because its gross or because pigs are allegedly very intelligent and therefore more aware of their suffering (not my rationale here, people) I say, "Oh, you're one of those, aren't you?" To which this coworker responds, "A Jew? Yes." Bahahaha thank GAGA this particular coworker has a great sense of humor...
Yet another tangent... The bathroom wall just told me, "Both sex outside of marriage and homosexuality are sins in God's sight." Yeah, and so are my SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs. As one of my oh-so-wise study abroad professors said while watching me dish copious amounts of Chef Bruno's homemade lasagna onto my plate, "GLUTTONY. Gluttony is in the third ring of Dante's inferno."
Here's hoping your 2011 was filled with as many positive experiences with wonderful friends and family as was mine! If the world indeed ends in December of this year, I will have at least spent 23 amazing years in the presence of some truly wonderful people. That, and won't have to pay back my student loans ;)
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” - Madonna
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Me: I don't really do diet "rules."
Morgan: Well, I don't mean rules like, "No Drinking." I mean funny rules like, "No Angry Hummus."
What's "angry hummus" you ask?! Well, angry hummus is somewhat of an event that takes place after several hours of being nice to hotel guests. After work I'll sit down to chat with Morgan over a tub of hummus and some pretzels, and the gorging commences. With every story I tell about an annoying situation (or dare I say a trying guest), I'll chow down on another pretzel dunked in an even more laughable amount of hummus than the last. By the time I'm through venting, I've eaten half a tub (or about 5 servings) of hummus. Thus the instatement of our first of three house rules, No Angry Hummus. Yes, I understand that hummus might actually be somewhat "good" for me, but not in ice cream size portions. The other rules read as follows: No means NO and No Weighing on the Rag.
We've instated the No means NO rule, because we've struggled a bit in the past with the whole "eating in numbers" thing. We've been known to talk each other into eating things we should just so no to. Or sometimes, like the other night, we'll even talk each other into eating things we've found the will power to refuse. After an excellent aerobics session with our fabulous instructor "Pat," who lovingly refers to me as "Jackie with the fabulous hair," Morgan and I decided to take the State Street route home. And this route just so happens to run right past Qdoba, my ultimate weakness. Morgan suggested we go there for a little post-workout meal, and somehow I was able to say no. When we got back to the apartment she suggested it once again, and after I said no she hinted at going there yet again. After saying no a third or fourth time, I finally gave in. We went to Qdoba and while it was delicious, the joy that typically accompanies this experience just wasn't there. I was suddenly quite angry knowing that our awesome workout would be for naught, and I was also rather angry knowing I had said no at least three times.
And this the day after I'd had a conversation with Morgan about needing allies! I understand that The Pledge of Glory is completely my battle, but sometimes I could get by with a little help from my friends. You know, if we're at a bar together and I say I don't want a drink, I don't want a drink. I'm assuming anyone who knows me understands why I'm saying no, so PLEASE don't try to persuade me or tell me I look like I could use a drink! Hell, you hardly have to know me to have heard me preach about The Pledge... if you've met me even once, chances are I've taken it upon myself to tell you all about my little project. Anyway, I'd like to think I'm not one who needs to be schnookered up to have or be fun, so just be my ally and go with it. It can be damn hard for my fat inner booze-hound to say no, so please don't invite me to second guess that no when I actually do.
At the time of the Qdoba incident I was a little perturbed with Morgan, but this was definitely compounded by my bad, period attitude. Which leads me to our next rule, No Weighing on the Rag. This rule was purposed by Ms. Morgan after hearing me bitch innumerable times about the extra weight I carry around when menstruating. The whole Qdoba thing happened not only while on the rag but also shortly after the holiday season. Therefore, the scale was reading really lack-luster numbers in the high 190s/ low 200s range (those are some freakin' November numbers). So I was freaking out a bit about the 20lbs I'd have to lose in only four months... yes, I'd lost 20 in the four months prior, but loosing the weight will be increasingly more difficult from here on out.
Despite having vowed never to step on a scale during my period again, I was doing so and overreacting about pert near everything. Needless to say, as soon as I'd ditched the tampons my weight was drastically lower! Define drastic, you say. Well, on the rag the scale was consistently reading at least 198.9lbs. Almost immediately after saying farewell to "Aunt Flow," which is a ridiculous period euphemism my friend Paula (and no one else) used to say, the scale read 192.9!!! Hells freakin' bells! My weight has been fluctuating in the 192-195 range ever since, but after quite the SNOW DAY, FAT DAY it's sitting on the higher end of that spectrum. SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs, for the record, involve eating as much of whatever you want in celebration of a wintry storm. Even without Brianna, my best SNOW DAY, FAT DAY comrade, I had a pretty successful SNOW DAY, FAT DAY. I won't bore you with another food diary entry, but lets just say I ate out three times yesterday. Naturally, Qdoba was one such restaurant destination... so Ms. Morgan, one of my greatest Pledge allies, don't think I'm still salty over the Qdoba thing... I never really had the right to be salty about it from the get go.
Wow. Having failed to blog since December 23rd, I have SO MUCH TO SAY! I apologize about all the rambling that has taken and will continue to take place. I suppose I should address the holidays, but I don't really have anything insightful to say about them. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and hardly "held back" at all. During the Tjoflat Christmas celebration, I guess I was pretty successful in wedging myself in a corner where I couldn't escape every two seconds to get some of mother Ellen's famous sweetened puff corn or one of sister Liz's ridiculous Paula Dean chocolate chip cookie dough truffles... they were literally giant balls of cookie dough dunked in delicious chocolate. Liz, did I thank you for providing perhaps the most difficult diet temptation yet? Overall, I guess I was pretty successful in not drinking a whole lot over the holidays... except for maybe that one night in downtown Whitehall where things got a little crazy at the "S&M" bar... what happens in S&M, stays in S&M.
Despite the holidays, I've managed to lose roughly 27lbs since this whole quest began in August. For those of you not real gifted in the math department, I've 13lbs to lose in order to meet my 40lb April 28th goal!!! Anyway, people often ask me something along the lines of, "So what's your secret?" I almost always struggle to answer this damn question. First of all, when you were an incredibly gluttonous, lazy college kid, a few healthy changes can work wonders for you. Simply getting my ass of the couch to GAGAcise or rollerblade thrice a week has been huge for me. And drinking at least less frequently than a college kid has done wonders as well.
But if I could sum it all up, I guess knowing myself has been the real secret. Though I can't seem to learn this lesson, I know I cannot sit down with a tub of hummus and eat a reasonable portion of it. It's as simple as portioning a bit out and enjoying it in moderation. Also, some nights I know I cannot go to a bar and just have one drink. The solution is simple. I shan't put myself in that situation on this particular night. Some nights I know I'm incapable of even passing by a Qdoba without coveting some Mexican Gumbo and ultimately stopping in. Once again, a simple solution... take a different route home. So lets know and understand ourselves! Know the temptations you can and cannot resist, know your triggers and discover the root of your unhealthy habits. To me, it's no coincidence whatsoever that I've been capable of revolutionizing my health in the same year I've announced, acknowledged and celebrated my lifestyle. Having come out, I'm no longer seeking comfort in unhealthy habits like excessive eating and drinking (with the exception of a few SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs here and there). Here's to a 2012 dedicated to total health... of mind, body and spirit!
Speaking of the new year, lets talk resolutions! Mine are as follows (and in no order of importance): Complete The Pledge, floss, MEET GAGA and leave Madison no later than September. As for that final resolution, do cities exist where the lesbian circle isn't so freakishly small?! GAGA, I hope so.
A quick story to demonstrate how effectively I often put my foot in my mouth... In the work cafeteria the other day, I gazed longingly at a vat of mystery meat (sometimes that stuff appeals to me... GAGA knows why). I asked my coworker what he thought it was, and he responded, "I don't know. It's probably pork, and I don't eat that stuff." So, thinking he's just another one of my interesting coworkers who refuses to eat pork because its gross or because pigs are allegedly very intelligent and therefore more aware of their suffering (not my rationale here, people) I say, "Oh, you're one of those, aren't you?" To which this coworker responds, "A Jew? Yes." Bahahaha thank GAGA this particular coworker has a great sense of humor...
Yet another tangent... The bathroom wall just told me, "Both sex outside of marriage and homosexuality are sins in God's sight." Yeah, and so are my SNOW DAY, FAT DAYs. As one of my oh-so-wise study abroad professors said while watching me dish copious amounts of Chef Bruno's homemade lasagna onto my plate, "GLUTTONY. Gluttony is in the third ring of Dante's inferno."
Here's hoping your 2011 was filled with as many positive experiences with wonderful friends and family as was mine! If the world indeed ends in December of this year, I will have at least spent 23 amazing years in the presence of some truly wonderful people. That, and won't have to pay back my student loans ;)
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” - Madonna
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Friday, December 23, 2011
I am the 15%...right?!
I fear enduring the holiday season and resisting all of its temptatations will be even harder than anticipated. I got a little taste of what's to come last weekend when I travelled to the 715 to celebrate my friend Paul's college graduation as well as my cousin Hannah's. All I did was gather with friends and eat... and eat... and eat. I even got in the habit of pre-gaming my meals with entirely seperate meals. On Friday night, for instance, I was riding with Paul's parents to Eau Claire and we decided to stop at the Norske Nook to pick up a pie. We had every intention of just grabbing the "Pie of the Month" and continuing our trek to Eau Claire, but upon seeing the pie-rotator Paul's father insisted we have some pie then and there! And once we discovered they were serving up Friday fish fry, our pie-stop quickly turned into an all out meal. While we all knew Paul would be cooking us a lovely dinner, that certainly didn't stop Paul's dad from ordering the fish-fry platter nor did it stop me from scarfing down the fish wrap (a relatively healthy option were the lefse not slathered in butter). I was at least wise enough to hold off on pie, but only because I was saving myself for the giant piece of lingonberry apple swimming in ice cream I'd have later. But hey, if you're going to "cheat," do it right... and when it comes to pie, ain't nothing more "right" than Norske Nook! And lingonberry apple that!
Food is my drug and that was just the beginning of a long bender of a weekend! I continued my excessive eating on Saturday, when we dined at the Green Mill following Paul's graduation ceremony. Rather than get their delicious "Il Primo" pizza topped with various meats and gorgonzola, I opted for a raspberry grilled chicken salad...still topped with gorgonzola! Nevertheless, I was pleased with this moment of strength. This "strength," however, wouldn't last long. I literally left the Green Mill and went straight to Randy's Family Restaurant, home of the most fabulous pancakes on Earth. So could I resist getting a pancake for dessert?! At a restaurant I very rarely get to go to?! Absolutely not. I had one of Randy's famous pancakes with a delicious cup (or 5) of coffee. And the best part of lunch #2?! The company! I sat with my best friends Katie and Tiffany, and we chatted for almost two hours while waitress Goldie kept the coffee coming! There's nothing quite like good food, coffee and conversation. Something, something about this place.
There would be more good eatin' in store for Saturday. From Eau Claire, my lovely mother and I headed to River Falls for my cousin Hannah's senior vocal recital. By this time I was feeling drunk. The combination of excessive food and especially coffee had me feeling as though I'd gulped one too many Bud Lite Limes... you know that stage of drunk where the pleasant buzz suddenly has you feeling dizzy?! Yup, that's what too much coffee and a lack of healthy food will now do to me. So I got a LifeWater and an apple, and I started feeling better. When we arrived in River Falls, I was ready to inhale some delicious pizza...nevermind the fact I'd just recovered from my food-hangover of sorts. I still felt fine after downing a few pieces of pizza, and by the time the amazing recital was over I was ready for an array of Christmas goodies! The reception offered carmelized crackers, shortbread cookies, chocolate cherry cookies and Subway-like M&M cookies, to name a few! Why start minding my caloric intake then?! Neeldess to say, I didn't and I wouldn't later that night when we got back to Whitehall. In my beautifully festive childhood home, there were 12 dozen peanut butter blossom cookies and homemade chex-mix waiting for me. I was able to eat just one cookie (as well as the sample of dough Mom saved for me) and a fairly reasonable portion of chex-mix... impressive, right?!
I wish the weekend of glutony stopped there... but I would eat a City Cafe omelette the next day, more Norske Nook pie and some of Jeff Hauser's most delicious grill creations. Sunday night would conclude over a couple drinks and some much needed karaoke with my best friends Paul, Monique and Shane. If only I could stop my rambling food diary there... but I would return to Randy's Family Restaurant on Monday morning, where I decided whole wheat french toast was a healthy option. GAGA almighty, the food diary finally stops there! You're welcome.
As you all know, I've been preaching a lot lately about not "perseverating" over the food and weight thing. Well, after reading an entirely too detailed and lengthy exerpt from my food diary, which I don't actually keep, you and I both know not perseverating is easier said than done. I'd like to think I don't obsess over the "cheating" I do, but my ability to recite everything I'd eaten this past weekend proves otherwise. This is just another challenge in healthy eating...not obsessing. I simply need to remember that this health revolution is about feeling good about myself. Therefore, it is counterproductive when I obsess and feel bad about unhealthy food consumption. Forward our motto!
Here's to a joyous holiday weekend! Please, remember the Pledge of Glory's stance on Thanksgiving when you do your holiday eating... if eating food you love with the people you love makes you happy, so be it! While easier said than done, let's not obsess over all the food we "shouldn't have" eaten this holiday season. But here's hoping I can at least stop myself before getting food-wasted!
"My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul." -- Bree Osbourne (a pre-operative male-to-female transsexual played by Felicity Huffman in the 2005 film Transamerica)
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Food is my drug and that was just the beginning of a long bender of a weekend! I continued my excessive eating on Saturday, when we dined at the Green Mill following Paul's graduation ceremony. Rather than get their delicious "Il Primo" pizza topped with various meats and gorgonzola, I opted for a raspberry grilled chicken salad...still topped with gorgonzola! Nevertheless, I was pleased with this moment of strength. This "strength," however, wouldn't last long. I literally left the Green Mill and went straight to Randy's Family Restaurant, home of the most fabulous pancakes on Earth. So could I resist getting a pancake for dessert?! At a restaurant I very rarely get to go to?! Absolutely not. I had one of Randy's famous pancakes with a delicious cup (or 5) of coffee. And the best part of lunch #2?! The company! I sat with my best friends Katie and Tiffany, and we chatted for almost two hours while waitress Goldie kept the coffee coming! There's nothing quite like good food, coffee and conversation. Something, something about this place.
There would be more good eatin' in store for Saturday. From Eau Claire, my lovely mother and I headed to River Falls for my cousin Hannah's senior vocal recital. By this time I was feeling drunk. The combination of excessive food and especially coffee had me feeling as though I'd gulped one too many Bud Lite Limes... you know that stage of drunk where the pleasant buzz suddenly has you feeling dizzy?! Yup, that's what too much coffee and a lack of healthy food will now do to me. So I got a LifeWater and an apple, and I started feeling better. When we arrived in River Falls, I was ready to inhale some delicious pizza...nevermind the fact I'd just recovered from my food-hangover of sorts. I still felt fine after downing a few pieces of pizza, and by the time the amazing recital was over I was ready for an array of Christmas goodies! The reception offered carmelized crackers, shortbread cookies, chocolate cherry cookies and Subway-like M&M cookies, to name a few! Why start minding my caloric intake then?! Neeldess to say, I didn't and I wouldn't later that night when we got back to Whitehall. In my beautifully festive childhood home, there were 12 dozen peanut butter blossom cookies and homemade chex-mix waiting for me. I was able to eat just one cookie (as well as the sample of dough Mom saved for me) and a fairly reasonable portion of chex-mix... impressive, right?!
I wish the weekend of glutony stopped there... but I would eat a City Cafe omelette the next day, more Norske Nook pie and some of Jeff Hauser's most delicious grill creations. Sunday night would conclude over a couple drinks and some much needed karaoke with my best friends Paul, Monique and Shane. If only I could stop my rambling food diary there... but I would return to Randy's Family Restaurant on Monday morning, where I decided whole wheat french toast was a healthy option. GAGA almighty, the food diary finally stops there! You're welcome.
As you all know, I've been preaching a lot lately about not "perseverating" over the food and weight thing. Well, after reading an entirely too detailed and lengthy exerpt from my food diary, which I don't actually keep, you and I both know not perseverating is easier said than done. I'd like to think I don't obsess over the "cheating" I do, but my ability to recite everything I'd eaten this past weekend proves otherwise. This is just another challenge in healthy eating...not obsessing. I simply need to remember that this health revolution is about feeling good about myself. Therefore, it is counterproductive when I obsess and feel bad about unhealthy food consumption. Forward our motto!
Here's to a joyous holiday weekend! Please, remember the Pledge of Glory's stance on Thanksgiving when you do your holiday eating... if eating food you love with the people you love makes you happy, so be it! While easier said than done, let's not obsess over all the food we "shouldn't have" eaten this holiday season. But here's hoping I can at least stop myself before getting food-wasted!
"My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul." -- Bree Osbourne (a pre-operative male-to-female transsexual played by Felicity Huffman in the 2005 film Transamerica)
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Let's hear it for the boys!
Christmas is but 10 days away, and I've never had such lack luster holiday spirit. Maybe it's the lack of snow on the ground... maybe it's the lack of gift-buying money in my wallet... or maybe it's that damn radio commericial that keeps telling me "85% of people gain weight over the holidays." Nothing screams happy holidays like constant fear of destroying four and a half months of weight loss... I'm now weighing in between 196.1 and 198.8 lbs, and I'll be damned if I sabotage that progress (total loss ranging from 22.8 to 25.5lbs)! And as for that holiday weight-gain statistic (well, statistics in general), my friend Michelle once told me 70% of statistics are inaccurate.
Oh, lord. The woman on this week's episode of What Not to Wear is selfconscious about her height. She said, "I'm already 5'10" or 5'11," so heels put me over 6' and I feel freakish." If being 6' tall makes me freakish, just call me and all the fabulously large people in my life a pile of mutants! Why would anyone ever feel insecure about being long, lean and all together superior to others? Sure, we tall people will allegedly live shorter lives (yet another likely inaccurate statistic), but I find this to be a trade-off for the exceptional quality of our tall-lives. But in all seriousness, this What Not to Wear participant is just another example of a woman unhappy with her body... even women who aren't selfconscious about their weight will find some physical feature to perseverate over. It's exhausting, really.
I also find my constant preaching about women and "our" issues quite exhausting (as I'm sure y'all do). I've realized that in my women's rights "crusade" I've neglected the issues and injustices relating to other groups of people and particularly men. Many issues aren't really specific to men or women... last Pledge I said that men don't perseverate over the weight thing like women. What I should have said is that men aren't likely to do so as frequently. But how can I actually know such a thing? When it comes to weight and body image, sure, men aren't likely to talk about such things. Struggling with weight, perhaps like being a victim of sexual assault (on a much different, yet somehow similar level), is largely considered a "female thing." While men suffer from similar matters, they're proably too ashamed to talk about their experiences. Men are taught that to struggle with and even talk about such matters is emasculating. While men may may struggle with weight and body dysmorphia less frequently than women, it seems especially difficult as they feel they can't talk about it. Not that it's an easy thing for women to talk about, but at least our femininity isn't put into question.
In an effort to quit preaching in circles, let's talk about the exceptional men in my life! Just as I constantly ramble about women's issues and ignore how these same matters might affect men, I often praise the strong women in my life and fail to salute the inspiring men around me. So here's to my gay-boyfriends! You know who you are, and I hope you also know how much I appreciate your love, support and thoughtfulness. And let us not forget the exceptional straight men in my life... here's to those of you who remind me that you're not all bad. And a very special shout-out to my father -- a man who at one time lived with four very strong women and ultimately helped raise three independent daughters.
You're probably wondering when I started taking myself and this damn blog so seriously... maybe now that I'm no longer eating like a 12-year-old (spaghetti, pizza-bagels, PB&Js, mac n' cheese, etc.) I'm acting less like one. Hahaha not likely! Speaking of my inner child, she's curious about the meaning of some Christmas carols. Let's talk "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause." Is Santa in this song actually the kid's dad?! And has every body always known this?! I sure as hell haven't. How about "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer"... Grandpa clearly killed grandma and is trying to blame Santa, right?! "You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa we believe!"
Well, here's hoping my weekend trip to the 715 will get me in the Christmas spirit! I can only imagine the goodies that await me... peanut butter blosoms, carmel puff corn, almond-bark pretzels, and so on and so on. Here's to that 15% of us who won't put on any holiday pounds!
While World AIDS Day was observed over two weeks ago (December 1st), I would like to pay my belated respects in quoting the late Ryan White. White, having been expelled from his middle school because of his infection, was somewhat of an American poster child for HIV/AIDS in the 80s. While White was only given six months to live, he lived five years longer than anticipated. White is also the first male I have chosen to conclude The Pledge of Glory.
"AIDS can destroy a family if you let it, but luckily for my sister and me, Mom taught us to keep going. Don't give up, be proud of who you are and never feel sorry for yourself." -- Ryan White
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Oh, lord. The woman on this week's episode of What Not to Wear is selfconscious about her height. She said, "I'm already 5'10" or 5'11," so heels put me over 6' and I feel freakish." If being 6' tall makes me freakish, just call me and all the fabulously large people in my life a pile of mutants! Why would anyone ever feel insecure about being long, lean and all together superior to others? Sure, we tall people will allegedly live shorter lives (yet another likely inaccurate statistic), but I find this to be a trade-off for the exceptional quality of our tall-lives. But in all seriousness, this What Not to Wear participant is just another example of a woman unhappy with her body... even women who aren't selfconscious about their weight will find some physical feature to perseverate over. It's exhausting, really.
I also find my constant preaching about women and "our" issues quite exhausting (as I'm sure y'all do). I've realized that in my women's rights "crusade" I've neglected the issues and injustices relating to other groups of people and particularly men. Many issues aren't really specific to men or women... last Pledge I said that men don't perseverate over the weight thing like women. What I should have said is that men aren't likely to do so as frequently. But how can I actually know such a thing? When it comes to weight and body image, sure, men aren't likely to talk about such things. Struggling with weight, perhaps like being a victim of sexual assault (on a much different, yet somehow similar level), is largely considered a "female thing." While men suffer from similar matters, they're proably too ashamed to talk about their experiences. Men are taught that to struggle with and even talk about such matters is emasculating. While men may may struggle with weight and body dysmorphia less frequently than women, it seems especially difficult as they feel they can't talk about it. Not that it's an easy thing for women to talk about, but at least our femininity isn't put into question.
In an effort to quit preaching in circles, let's talk about the exceptional men in my life! Just as I constantly ramble about women's issues and ignore how these same matters might affect men, I often praise the strong women in my life and fail to salute the inspiring men around me. So here's to my gay-boyfriends! You know who you are, and I hope you also know how much I appreciate your love, support and thoughtfulness. And let us not forget the exceptional straight men in my life... here's to those of you who remind me that you're not all bad. And a very special shout-out to my father -- a man who at one time lived with four very strong women and ultimately helped raise three independent daughters.
You're probably wondering when I started taking myself and this damn blog so seriously... maybe now that I'm no longer eating like a 12-year-old (spaghetti, pizza-bagels, PB&Js, mac n' cheese, etc.) I'm acting less like one. Hahaha not likely! Speaking of my inner child, she's curious about the meaning of some Christmas carols. Let's talk "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause." Is Santa in this song actually the kid's dad?! And has every body always known this?! I sure as hell haven't. How about "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer"... Grandpa clearly killed grandma and is trying to blame Santa, right?! "You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa we believe!"
Well, here's hoping my weekend trip to the 715 will get me in the Christmas spirit! I can only imagine the goodies that await me... peanut butter blosoms, carmel puff corn, almond-bark pretzels, and so on and so on. Here's to that 15% of us who won't put on any holiday pounds!
While World AIDS Day was observed over two weeks ago (December 1st), I would like to pay my belated respects in quoting the late Ryan White. White, having been expelled from his middle school because of his infection, was somewhat of an American poster child for HIV/AIDS in the 80s. While White was only given six months to live, he lived five years longer than anticipated. White is also the first male I have chosen to conclude The Pledge of Glory.
"AIDS can destroy a family if you let it, but luckily for my sister and me, Mom taught us to keep going. Don't give up, be proud of who you are and never feel sorry for yourself." -- Ryan White
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Accepting the Unaccepting -- Uff' da
I honestly don't know if I should blog today... I'm feeling sentimental, philosophical and all together quite preachy. Nevertheless, I'm feeling inspired...
A friend of mine, who's coincidentally named Christian, shared the following link to a blog post by "Single Dad Laughing" titled "I'm Christian, unless you're gay" (oddly enough, Christian knows I'm gay and yet he's always referred to himself as such... oh that's rich!). I couldn't sleep this morning, so I thought I'd give it a quick read. Well, there was nothing quick about it, but I'm nevertheless pleased to have read it. If you, too, are having trouble sleeping or perhaps just don't want to study, I encourage you to click the link below and read this (at the very least) thought-provoking blog post.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html
If you chose not to spend 15 minutes reading a message that could've been summed up in 5, I'll give you an even more brief synopsis. In this blog entry, Dan Pearce discusses the exclusivity of Christianity and the failure by some of its more rigid, conservative followers to essentially "love thy neighbor" ... particularly if this neighbor is gay, an alcoholic or "different" in some other way. While I'm not crazy about "gayness" being likened to diseases such as alcoholism (my sister was once told being gay is the equivalent to being an alcoholic... that one must resist the tempation for same sex relations, like an alcoholic must avoid the drink), I appreciate the message Pearce is trying to relay -- in order to feel better about themselves, humans who feel inadequate hate and dehumanize those who are different or "sinful." He essentially asks, "Why can't we all just love and get along?"
I, however, find myself asking, "When will we stop referring to my lifestyle as 'alternative' and debating whether it's 'right' or 'wrong'?" I'm confident that day will come, and perhaps even in my lifetime. Until then, I continue my daily struggle to not just tolerate, but accept the unaccepting. Lady Gaga is far better about this (perhaps what I admire most in her), as I can't even sit through an Eminem song without purging. But, I don't think I should have to subject myself to that sort of verbal abuse in order to "accept" Mr. Mathers.
Conan O'Brien joked last night that America can't afford transitions... With that being said, I'm now going to very choppily jump to an overview of my Thanksgiving festivities. I spent the holiday at home in Whitehall with my mom's family. We were missing both sister Kassie and cousin Erik, as well as everyone's favorite uncle Kenny... nevertheless, those of us who were present had an amazing time. I often refer to the "Tjoflats" as a big group of large, beautiful people. I'm happy to report, however, that these large people seem to be making their health a major priority. Sure, we all ate ourselves into a state of turkey-drunkenness, but many of my relatives have recently shed some excess weight. I'll use my cousins Hannah and Evalyn as examples. They signed onto The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge and lost 15 and 16lbs respectiviely! So proud of these long and increasingly lean, beautiful women!
I'm also happy to report GAGA was quite the fixture in this year's festivities. After finally sobering up a bit from our turkey-drunkeness, everyone (except "the men") sat down and watched A Very GAGA Thanksgiving. It was awesomely cheesey and hilarious, but there were also some very touching moments and song selections. If you didn't catch it, I would at least advise you to youtube her performances of Hair, Bad Romance or The (pl)Edge of Glory. I'm just so happy to live in a world where Lady Gaga has her own Thanksgiving special, and it's one my family wants to watch with me! But the highlight of my Thanksgiving likely came on black friday. That morning, rather than migrate to the nearest mall, I cranked the GAGA and held an outdoor, family GAGAerobics session! To watch my sister Liz, aunt Mary and cousins Hannah and Evie follow my lead and GAGAcise in sync was somewhat of a dream come true! It was honestly so much fun!!! I'd love to show you the video my mother took, but we're having trouble uploading it... that, and Ellen may or may not have filmed it upside-down!
uote from a man (I'm now doing everything in my power to resist including a sexist remark about the inferiority of the male psyche). As for my quote, I've been thinking a lot lately about how surprisingly often I discuss the issue of weight with even the most exceptional of women... sadly enough, strong women seem just as plagued by body image issues as the next. As are the thinnest and most fit... it seems, unfortunately, women are taught never to be satisfied with their figures. I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss our weight with one another... I'm merely saying we shouldn't obsess over such issues and have unrealistic expectations for our bodies. On the other hand, we shouldn't make excuses for one another. Ultimately, we must encourage one another to live healthier lifestyles without preaching or conversely beating the dead, "I wish I were skinnier" horse. I warned you earlier about my "preachy" mentality today...
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
A friend of mine, who's coincidentally named Christian, shared the following link to a blog post by "Single Dad Laughing" titled "I'm Christian, unless you're gay" (oddly enough, Christian knows I'm gay and yet he's always referred to himself as such... oh that's rich!). I couldn't sleep this morning, so I thought I'd give it a quick read. Well, there was nothing quick about it, but I'm nevertheless pleased to have read it. If you, too, are having trouble sleeping or perhaps just don't want to study, I encourage you to click the link below and read this (at the very least) thought-provoking blog post.
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html
If you chose not to spend 15 minutes reading a message that could've been summed up in 5, I'll give you an even more brief synopsis. In this blog entry, Dan Pearce discusses the exclusivity of Christianity and the failure by some of its more rigid, conservative followers to essentially "love thy neighbor" ... particularly if this neighbor is gay, an alcoholic or "different" in some other way. While I'm not crazy about "gayness" being likened to diseases such as alcoholism (my sister was once told being gay is the equivalent to being an alcoholic... that one must resist the tempation for same sex relations, like an alcoholic must avoid the drink), I appreciate the message Pearce is trying to relay -- in order to feel better about themselves, humans who feel inadequate hate and dehumanize those who are different or "sinful." He essentially asks, "Why can't we all just love and get along?"
I, however, find myself asking, "When will we stop referring to my lifestyle as 'alternative' and debating whether it's 'right' or 'wrong'?" I'm confident that day will come, and perhaps even in my lifetime. Until then, I continue my daily struggle to not just tolerate, but accept the unaccepting. Lady Gaga is far better about this (perhaps what I admire most in her), as I can't even sit through an Eminem song without purging. But, I don't think I should have to subject myself to that sort of verbal abuse in order to "accept" Mr. Mathers.
Conan O'Brien joked last night that America can't afford transitions... With that being said, I'm now going to very choppily jump to an overview of my Thanksgiving festivities. I spent the holiday at home in Whitehall with my mom's family. We were missing both sister Kassie and cousin Erik, as well as everyone's favorite uncle Kenny... nevertheless, those of us who were present had an amazing time. I often refer to the "Tjoflats" as a big group of large, beautiful people. I'm happy to report, however, that these large people seem to be making their health a major priority. Sure, we all ate ourselves into a state of turkey-drunkenness, but many of my relatives have recently shed some excess weight. I'll use my cousins Hannah and Evalyn as examples. They signed onto The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge and lost 15 and 16lbs respectiviely! So proud of these long and increasingly lean, beautiful women!
I'm also happy to report GAGA was quite the fixture in this year's festivities. After finally sobering up a bit from our turkey-drunkeness, everyone (except "the men") sat down and watched A Very GAGA Thanksgiving. It was awesomely cheesey and hilarious, but there were also some very touching moments and song selections. If you didn't catch it, I would at least advise you to youtube her performances of Hair, Bad Romance or The (pl)Edge of Glory. I'm just so happy to live in a world where Lady Gaga has her own Thanksgiving special, and it's one my family wants to watch with me! But the highlight of my Thanksgiving likely came on black friday. That morning, rather than migrate to the nearest mall, I cranked the GAGA and held an outdoor, family GAGAerobics session! To watch my sister Liz, aunt Mary and cousins Hannah and Evie follow my lead and GAGAcise in sync was somewhat of a dream come true! It was honestly so much fun!!! I'd love to show you the video my mother took, but we're having trouble uploading it... that, and Ellen may or may not have filmed it upside-down!
uote from a man (I'm now doing everything in my power to resist including a sexist remark about the inferiority of the male psyche). As for my quote, I've been thinking a lot lately about how surprisingly often I discuss the issue of weight with even the most exceptional of women... sadly enough, strong women seem just as plagued by body image issues as the next. As are the thinnest and most fit... it seems, unfortunately, women are taught never to be satisfied with their figures. I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss our weight with one another... I'm merely saying we shouldn't obsess over such issues and have unrealistic expectations for our bodies. On the other hand, we shouldn't make excuses for one another. Ultimately, we must encourage one another to live healthier lifestyles without preaching or conversely beating the dead, "I wish I were skinnier" horse. I warned you earlier about my "preachy" mentality today...
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Monday, November 21, 2011
Fat-Jackie may have won the battle, but skinny-me will win the war!
It's been pert' near three weeks since I last posted... unfortunately, my failure to blog is representative of my lack luster dieting efforts. It's far easier to eat that slice of pizza when you're not preaching to everyone about how you're trying to lose weight! GAGA almighty, I guess I'm that chick that needs everyone watching me, checking up on me in order to accomplish a 40lb feat of this sort. It's funny, though, that I sometimes find myself put off by the fact that people try to keep me in check... I'm annoyed when I hear things like, "Aren't you on a diet?", "GAGAcise lately?" or "Is that fourth drink really necessary?". In reality, I have all but begged for this sort of attention. By proclaiming my intentions and shouting my progress (or lack there of) out loud, I am absolutely setting myself up for critique, advice and even badgering. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful... I'm actually incredibly thankful for those of you keeping me accountable. Would I be as succesful without feeling the need to prove myself to so many?! Absolutely not. As much as this health revolution is a personal voyage, keeping this blog is the ulitmate act of accountability. When you read, I feel pressure to stay on track. For this, I thank you. And while I may seem irked by your "surveillance" or advice, I thank you for that too. Lecture me, question me, scold me all you want... after all, I'm asking for it! But I should warn you, doing so at certain times of the month could be hazardous to your health...
I've officially been "asking for it" for about three and a half months now. In fact, the Pledge of Glory celebrated it's three month anniversary on November 8th. In these three months, I've varied from incredibly well behaved to equally as ill behaved. Maybe it's the late-night, unnecessary Qdoba "fourth meal" talking, but sometimes I feel there have been as many days ruled by fat-Jackie as there have been those dictated by healthy-me. But, now 21.4lbs lighter (down from 221.6 to 200.2), I think healthy-me is in fact winning the war. I met a man recently who put on about 100lbs after he quit playing football for UW. He has since gone from that hefty 350lbs to a healthy, juiced 250 (we'll call this former Badger "Joe")... he told me that he and his former fat-self struggle daily. While healthy Joe insists upon eating a veggie fajita, the fat Joe of yesteryear is inside longing for a double cheeseburger. I've been unhealthy virutally my entire life... at least as long as I've been old enough to make my own diet decisions. Like Joe, I cannot expect to completely transform into healthy-Jackie without occassionally hearing from (and giving into) fat-Jackie. She lives within... and always will.
Anyway, I thought after three months I ought to post some updated semi-nude photos. Like I said before, I'm down roughly 21.4lbs. With that being said, I'd like to think the new photos are a little easier on the eyes. See for yourself...
At 221.6lbs. Buzz's girlfriend... woof.
The Pledge of (221.6lb) Glory.
Looking slightly more glorious
(and hopefully a little less flabulous) at 200.2 lbs.
Is it me or is my back-fat frowning?!
20lbs later, my back-fat is looking less "unhappy" --
my proudest Pledge accomplisment yet!
Sure enough, this Thursday is Thanksgiving!!! I'm planning to do a mini-fast of sorts these next three days so I can enjoy this glutonous holiday in (semi) good conscience. It's not like I can really eat that much anyway. Seriously, if I eat too much these days I feel drunk... honest to GAGA. At work the other day I ate two helpings of grilled squash burried in a delcious red sauce. I was all buzzed upon returning from break, and I told my friend Tony I got "squash wasted." To which he said, "Dude, you got squashed!" I got "squashed" again at work yesterday, as we had a pre-Thanksgiving feast of sorts. This involved me eating far too much turkey, stuffing and frozen veggie medley. When I returned from break, my co-workers wanted to know why I was all red in the face. Once again, I was food wasted. Such an odd sensation!
Well, I suppose I should address The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge. For me, getting under 200lbs means meeting this challenge. Last time I checked, I was 200.2... and this was after a night of drinking and a few days of bad eating. So, I would like to think that I'll indeed be under 200lbs come Thursday. Now, after Thursday is another story! Despite the Pledge of Glory, I will be enjoying Thanksgiving the only way I know how...
As for the other Hauser sisters... well, I just spoke with Liz yesterday and it seems she's shed about 7lbs in the last month or so! I know how hard losing 7lbs can be, so I'm incredibly proud of her progress!!! This feat is especially impressive as she devotes much time and energy to her under-paid and under-appreciated profession of teaching (recall Walker!). I haven't had a chance to ask Kassie about her Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge efforts, but I'm sure she's made great progress as well. And even if she hasn't, I'm extremely proud of her most recent accomplishment. On her 26th birthday, Kassie presented her thesis topic to a panel of advisors who were to decide whether she should proceed with this particular topic. After giving a 10 minute presentation, the panel interrogated her for almost 90 minutes. They then deliberated for just 10 minutes before officially approving her topic. While her specific subject is failing me, I do know it involves Alaska and climate change. Nevertheless, Kassie said the whole ordeal was one of the most difficult things she's had to do. I was lucky enough to talk to her almost immediately after, and it was pretty clear this was also one of the most satisfying moments of her life.
Here's hoping y'all are anticipating Thanksgiving festivities even half as fantastic as mine! And here's to my mother and fabulous aunts who each year prepare an insane feast for 20+ food-loving Tjoflat giants! Erik and Kassie, you will be sorely missed at this year's gathering... but at least we won't have to serve Tofurkey again! Nor lie to you about the green bean casserole being made with cream of mushroom soup (pretty sure we've always made it with cream of chicken anyway).
"The cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience." -- Naomi Wolf
Upon reading this quote, I question whether my health revolution truly is a journey of personal improvement or merely an effort to conform to the absurb physical expecations of our media-infected society. But who am I kidding?! Even if I get down to my desired weight of 180lbs, I'll still be far from ideal by our culture's standards. Being 6 feet tall and "big-boned," I guess I'm forever disobedient. But in passing this quote along to me, my wise friend Paul noted, "A little disobedience is a good thing, don't you think?"
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
I've officially been "asking for it" for about three and a half months now. In fact, the Pledge of Glory celebrated it's three month anniversary on November 8th. In these three months, I've varied from incredibly well behaved to equally as ill behaved. Maybe it's the late-night, unnecessary Qdoba "fourth meal" talking, but sometimes I feel there have been as many days ruled by fat-Jackie as there have been those dictated by healthy-me. But, now 21.4lbs lighter (down from 221.6 to 200.2), I think healthy-me is in fact winning the war. I met a man recently who put on about 100lbs after he quit playing football for UW. He has since gone from that hefty 350lbs to a healthy, juiced 250 (we'll call this former Badger "Joe")... he told me that he and his former fat-self struggle daily. While healthy Joe insists upon eating a veggie fajita, the fat Joe of yesteryear is inside longing for a double cheeseburger. I've been unhealthy virutally my entire life... at least as long as I've been old enough to make my own diet decisions. Like Joe, I cannot expect to completely transform into healthy-Jackie without occassionally hearing from (and giving into) fat-Jackie. She lives within... and always will.
Anyway, I thought after three months I ought to post some updated semi-nude photos. Like I said before, I'm down roughly 21.4lbs. With that being said, I'd like to think the new photos are a little easier on the eyes. See for yourself...
My Christmas gift to y'all! Haha. Looking thinner
through the shoulders and chest, perhaps?
Legs as comically skinny as ever!
(and hopefully a little less flabulous) at 200.2 lbs.
my proudest Pledge accomplisment yet!
Sure enough, this Thursday is Thanksgiving!!! I'm planning to do a mini-fast of sorts these next three days so I can enjoy this glutonous holiday in (semi) good conscience. It's not like I can really eat that much anyway. Seriously, if I eat too much these days I feel drunk... honest to GAGA. At work the other day I ate two helpings of grilled squash burried in a delcious red sauce. I was all buzzed upon returning from break, and I told my friend Tony I got "squash wasted." To which he said, "Dude, you got squashed!" I got "squashed" again at work yesterday, as we had a pre-Thanksgiving feast of sorts. This involved me eating far too much turkey, stuffing and frozen veggie medley. When I returned from break, my co-workers wanted to know why I was all red in the face. Once again, I was food wasted. Such an odd sensation!
Well, I suppose I should address The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge. For me, getting under 200lbs means meeting this challenge. Last time I checked, I was 200.2... and this was after a night of drinking and a few days of bad eating. So, I would like to think that I'll indeed be under 200lbs come Thursday. Now, after Thursday is another story! Despite the Pledge of Glory, I will be enjoying Thanksgiving the only way I know how...
As for the other Hauser sisters... well, I just spoke with Liz yesterday and it seems she's shed about 7lbs in the last month or so! I know how hard losing 7lbs can be, so I'm incredibly proud of her progress!!! This feat is especially impressive as she devotes much time and energy to her under-paid and under-appreciated profession of teaching (recall Walker!). I haven't had a chance to ask Kassie about her Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge efforts, but I'm sure she's made great progress as well. And even if she hasn't, I'm extremely proud of her most recent accomplishment. On her 26th birthday, Kassie presented her thesis topic to a panel of advisors who were to decide whether she should proceed with this particular topic. After giving a 10 minute presentation, the panel interrogated her for almost 90 minutes. They then deliberated for just 10 minutes before officially approving her topic. While her specific subject is failing me, I do know it involves Alaska and climate change. Nevertheless, Kassie said the whole ordeal was one of the most difficult things she's had to do. I was lucky enough to talk to her almost immediately after, and it was pretty clear this was also one of the most satisfying moments of her life.
Here's hoping y'all are anticipating Thanksgiving festivities even half as fantastic as mine! And here's to my mother and fabulous aunts who each year prepare an insane feast for 20+ food-loving Tjoflat giants! Erik and Kassie, you will be sorely missed at this year's gathering... but at least we won't have to serve Tofurkey again! Nor lie to you about the green bean casserole being made with cream of mushroom soup (pretty sure we've always made it with cream of chicken anyway).
"The cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience." -- Naomi Wolf
Upon reading this quote, I question whether my health revolution truly is a journey of personal improvement or merely an effort to conform to the absurb physical expecations of our media-infected society. But who am I kidding?! Even if I get down to my desired weight of 180lbs, I'll still be far from ideal by our culture's standards. Being 6 feet tall and "big-boned," I guess I'm forever disobedient. But in passing this quote along to me, my wise friend Paul noted, "A little disobedience is a good thing, don't you think?"
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Justice Under Gaga
For those of you who don't know, Lady Gaga is an Italian-American. And like many Italian-Americans, GAGA was raised Catholic. Maybe her donning a red nun's habit and "eating" a rosary speaks for itself, but she no longer considers herself a member of the Catholic community... She's not too keen on the Church's demonization of homosexuals. Anyway, I'm not trying to spur any political debates here. I just thought I'd share a lil' story about another one of my favorite Catholic Italian-Americans. For Pledge of Glory purposes, we'll call her "Becks."
Becks is a good friend I studied abroad with in Italy. Every Monday, we'd practice our Italian over some wine... we liked to think our Italian was great when "under the influence." More often than not, however, she'd end up telling me hilarious stories about her Catholic high school. Much of the hilarity is currently escaping me, but I will never forget how this all-girls school referred to detentions -- JUG's -- standing for "justice under God." Lord Almighty, even Sister Mary Elizabeth can appreciate the comical irony in that acronym!
Anyway, enough about those funny Catholics... What I really want to blog about today is my ferocious GAGAween costume!!! My head is slowly shrinking to it's normal size, but after a weekend full of compliments I'm still riding my GAGA-high. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the leaner physique, or maybe it was my insane makeup and costuming (compliments of Morgan Boland)... whatever it was, I was feeling (and looking, in my opinion) quite "savagely fierce" (as dictionary.com defines 'ferocious'). At work Sunday, I was literally showing a picture of Jackie Gaga to anyone I deemed remotely interested (guest or co-worker). But decide for yourselves, do I make a hot Gaga or what?!
Lookin' like GAGA's 6ft twin... maybe better, if you ask
Becks is a good friend I studied abroad with in Italy. Every Monday, we'd practice our Italian over some wine... we liked to think our Italian was great when "under the influence." More often than not, however, she'd end up telling me hilarious stories about her Catholic high school. Much of the hilarity is currently escaping me, but I will never forget how this all-girls school referred to detentions -- JUG's -- standing for "justice under God." Lord Almighty, even Sister Mary Elizabeth can appreciate the comical irony in that acronym!
Anyway, enough about those funny Catholics... What I really want to blog about today is my ferocious GAGAween costume!!! My head is slowly shrinking to it's normal size, but after a weekend full of compliments I'm still riding my GAGA-high. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the leaner physique, or maybe it was my insane makeup and costuming (compliments of Morgan Boland)... whatever it was, I was feeling (and looking, in my opinion) quite "savagely fierce" (as dictionary.com defines 'ferocious'). At work Sunday, I was literally showing a picture of Jackie Gaga to anyone I deemed remotely interested (guest or co-worker). But decide for yourselves, do I make a hot Gaga or what?!
the Colombian man hitting on me at Club 5 (yet
another gay bay where I pick up men...
surpisingly Enrique was straight).
As fellow GAGAweener AJ Blanchet said,
"Makin' our mamas proud!"
You might not know it looking at this ferocious picture, but
I've had far too much wine at this point... Like GAGA, neither
drunkenness nor brain-eating zombies will spoil my photo.
I'd like to think GAGAerobics has served me well!
After last week's very "woe is me" entry, I'm here to report that all is well in the land of The Pledge of Glory! I'm also here to demand that you never weigh yourself during your period!!! Last week I was all pissy about the fact that I was weighing in at 208.6 (heck, I'd been between 206 and 210lbs the entire month of October). But what do you know... I weighed myself just days later (after my period) and poof! I was magically about 6 lbs lighter! And I'm proud to announce that at some point this week, for the first time since likely 8th grade, the scale read less than 200lbs!!! Even after a long weekend of GAGAween celebrating and neglecting just about every Pledge of Glory "rule," I'm still roughly 202.6lbs. If y'all remember my initial weigh in, I began this journey at 221.6lbs... that brings me to a grand total of 19lbs shed!!! I'm virtually over the moon with excitment! And it seems I will get my professional haircut after all... I promised myself that as a reward for getting under 200lbs and meeting the The Hauser Sister 10lb Thanksgiving Challenge!!!
Here's hoping you felt as good in your Halloween costumes as I did! I can't wait for the slightest excuse to get back into my GAGA-gear!
“I want women -- and men -- to feel empowered by a deeper and more psychotic part of themselves. The part they're always trying desperately to hide. I want that to become something they cherish.”
-- Lady Gaga
Love. Peace. GAGAerobics.
Jackie
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